What married life can do to you

What married life can do to you

I saw this couple the other day when I was in Pistoia and I just had to photograph them because they somehow symbolize something I find disturbing in some of the marriages I have seen throughout my life. First of all I have to point out that I don’t know these persons and I don’t know anything about them at all so what I am writing have nothing to do with them as such, they just made me reflect upon what I consider the darker sides of married life, i.e. the restriction of the self, one’s own and the spouse’s. I am well aware of the impossibility of not influencing or being influenced when you are having a relationship, I know I am a ‘victim’ of it despite living with a person who really respects me and leaves me a lot of space, I know because I tend to restrict myself according to what I think is expected of me and I do have a tendency of projecting my bad conscience on my poor husband thus loading him with opinions and feelings he doesn’t have at all. But that’s part of life when you live in a couple and it’s my own business to let myself be as free as I want to be. What I intend is the more or less complete identification with each other or in some cases one of the partners. I see many couples who cannot do anything on their own, they always have to do things together and I wonder where did their own lives and selves go? I see couples where one of the partners decide what to wear, what to eat and what to say and I wonder with what right does she/he impose him/herself upon the other? And I see couples where you don’t see where one person begins and where the other ends and I wonder how does that feel? But I also know and meet many couples where two people are living together with respect, harmony and great love that inspires me. To me true love is is based on respect and acceptance. Plus that pinch of whatever it may be, probably something chemical…

L